The life we lead is no mistake.  We didn’t end up here by chance.  There are so many factors at play. Free will of choice.  Serendipity.  Karma. 

Much of what we have gone through was predestined.  Karmas that needed to be played out.  Lessons that needed to be experienced in order to get where we are now.  Polarities that needed to be explored to truly know the other side.

I had to experience the abandonment, sadness, heart break, and the subsequent coat of armour I adopted in order to get to this place in my life where knowing the other side and no longer wanting it, I’ve seeked for healing, surrendering to vulnerability, embracing pure love. 

I have always felt that we are each a flower, unique, pure and stunningly beautiful at the core.  However most of us have closed the pedals around our centres in order to keep ourselves safe, protected from the pain of feeling so deeply, from being hurt, from being shamed, from being judged by others.  Afraid of letting ourselves again open, showing our souls just as we did when we were born.  We closed up for a reason.  But are we missing out on the depth of love we have the capacity to experience when we shield ourselves from the pain?  For we cannot shield from the hurt and only allow the love.  When we are open, we feel it all.

For many years I have been peeling back the layers of protection I had cocooned myself in.  Trying to be less of the “island” my husband tells me I so easily adopt.  I have proven that I can do it all, myself, and that I would be fine alone.  But that isn’t what I want.  I want to share, to lean on, to be a part of something bigger.  To open myself to asking for help and allowing myself to receive it.  To let others in.  In, in, not the superficial kind where no one sees me cry, feel vulnerable, make mistakes. 

It has taken years, and I am not entirely there yet.  I am still working on it.  I still have much to learn as life is complex and deep and if the journey was over, I would no longer be alive. I am however, so far from the person I was when this healing journey began. 

My healing has taken on many forms, I have been supported by many wonderful practitioners, so deeply inspired by what I have experienced in my own transmutation, by what I have learned about this journey of life.  So inspired that it is clear now why I had to endure it all, so that I could support others in the same way I myself have been.  Not “healing” others, but showing them the way back to themselves, where they are able to access their own healing. The path is always our own to travel.  I, like many others, are just a means to allow you to peel back the many pedals to once again allow that beautiful core to shine it’s bright light.

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