Is Self-Love a Myth?

We love Esther Perel! As one of the leading psychotherapists specialized in couples and relationship counselling, she has fascinating research in the areas of love, sexuality and desire.

One of her recent blog posts she tackles an interesting topic, if self-love, by definition is actually a myth… the article starts like this:

“Where did we get the idea that we have to learn how to love all on our own? Have you ever ended a relationship because you needed to “work on yourself?” Have you ever said “I need to learn how to love myself before I can love anyone else—and before I can learn how to be loved? “

Esther Perel

In this great post, Esther discusses why self-love doesn’t need to be a solitary journey. She gives a great list of different things that Self-care can look like.

What does self-love look like for you? Try asking yourself the following questions:

• Can I acknowledge that I messed up without telling myself I’m a mess? 
• Can I practice regret without falling into an abyss?
• Can I take responsibility without blaming myself?
• Can I apologize for a mistake instead of hoping everyone will just move on?
• Can I acknowledge a time when I could have been a better leader in my own life?
• Can I release myself from the shame of having not responded sooner to someone so that I can finally reach out?
• Can I accept that I will be okay even if someone who hurt me—a parent, former partner, friend, or stranger—never acknowledges the pain they caused?
• Can I let someone treat me for a coffee, dinner, or movie without feeling guilty?
• Can I accept help from another without jumping to the conclusion that they want something from me?
• Can I hold my point of view without being validated for it?

You can read the whole article HERE! Want to get more insight into your relationships? She also has a fantastic podcast where you can listen to her counselling and provided therapy to actual couples – you can listen to it for free HERE !!

We hope you learn as much as we do from this phenomenal psychotherapist with years of experience! Happy listening!